Hi! I've been following you for almost 2 years and I was wondering if you could give me some advice? I've been sleeping with a guy that I used to have feelings for for a while now, he has a girlfriend, and by now I've realized that he's not going to leave her and I've made my peace with that. The sex is good and we have fun but I'm scared that he'll pull me in again sooner or later. What should I do? How do I keep myself detached and my feelings in check so I don't fall for him again? Thank you.

Anonymous

aww somebody wants my opinion on something i might cry. also, thanks for following!

first of all, i’m so proud that you’ve realized that he’s not gonna leave his girlfriend. most guys who cheat never will and if they do it’s most likely not because of you. now, having fun is good and you should definitely keep doing that, but i honestly don’t think you’re as at peace with the situation as you think you are if you’re so worried that you’ll fall for him again. nobody can pull you in and keep fucking with your mind unless you’re willing to, okay. the sex might be good but it’s definitely not the best you’ll ever have so don’t let that fool you.

as to what you should do…well, if i were you and i wanted to keep sleeping with him, i’d do it, but date around and get some other options, too. guys like that usually do the whole hot and cold thing, so the next time he’d go cold at least i’d have somebody else to warm me right up. if, however, you feel like you’re done and you want something better, healthier, just get the fuck out. just go. don’t look back. nothing there. it’s not gonna be easy at first but after a couple of weeks it’s not that bad. you’re basically fuck buddies, right, and you really don’t wanna be in a situation like that when you keep expecting it to change and just feeling much more than the other person. he’ll be fine but it’s not gonna end pretty for you.

as for that other stuff, detachment and controlling your feelings is not something i can just teach you, unfortunately. for me it comes quite naturally cause i’m just not that emotional a person. also, i’m stubborn as hell and denial is my best friend, so, you could probably start with that.

good luck. :)

wedding rings are actually usually only about £800 and engagement rings only go up to about £30,000 so you kind of over estimated there

Anonymous

aww honey

How many followers do you currently have? :)

Anonymous

Little over 8k :)

you're my soulmate

Anonymous

oooooh i’ve never had a soulmate before

Not previous anon. I agree with some of what you're saying but, unlike the media/social networks will lead you to believe, 'those bitches' that make 'bank' are few and far between. And, unfortunately, the risks associated with being ANY sex worker, in countries where prostitution is legal or illegal, are extremely scary. I volunteer for a charity that provides hands-on support to sex workers and, while I'm for people making their own minds, it's REALLY made me take off my rose-tinted spectacles.

Anonymous

oh of course, i think my answer was a bit…onesided because if personally picked that career path i would charge a fuckload just because i could. i didn’t meant to glamorize the business. yes, not everyone gets rich doing it, but the ones who are very good at what they do and can charge a lot, will get a pretty nice yearly salary.

and yes, there are a lot of risks, especially in places where prostitution is illegal and where people are ignorant and not taking rapes/other abuse of sex workers seriously. again, in my answer i kind of took it as a given that everyone involved (or thinking about getting involved) in escorting has a nice healthy mix of intelligence, common sense and paranoia, as well as measures/safety buddies and means of self defense, and have done a lot of research before starting.

not everyone can or should do it as it is a job that’s extremely demanding, both physically and emotionally.

i read your post and had to think about the blog ' ellies confession', do you remember it? i though it was so interesting haha do you know any similar ones?

Anonymous

yes, i really liked it though i’m not so sure how authentic the stories were since a lot of them were VERY similar to those in belle de jour’s ‘the intimate adventures of a london call girl’. you should check out her books, actually, you might like them. and the tv-show with billie piper.

similar kinds of blogs i don’t really know about. you could try searching the tags here, prostitute hooker whore call girl escort sex worker sex work escorting prostitution etc etc. check out the saafe forum as well, there might be a blog thread somewhere. :)

Why on Earth would you support prostitution?

Anonymous

why wouldn’t i? i obviously don’t support sex trafficking or forced prostitution, or people who do it for 20 bucks just to afford drugs or something like that cause that’s just sad, but if someone’s doing it by their own choice and actually _like_ it and want to pursue it professionally, that’s amazing and they should go for it.

there are not a lot of occupations where you can decide the rate of your time and services to be $400-500 or more an hour (that’s just what I would charge), and hand pick your clients and the people you have to deal with, as well as choose your working hours and vacations without being held accountable to absolutely anyone.

i completely get why some people choose to do it - the sense of power and the excitement of a double life. the money. the different characters you sometimes might get to play. i also find sexual psychology and the kinks that people have quite fascinating. what’s not to love. as long as you’re taking the necessary security measures so you don’t end up in the hands of the friendly neighborhood serial-killer.

i detest people, especially women, who are trying to dictate what other women should or should not do. these bitches make bank, okay, and i have the utmost respect for them. your best friend could be an escort. your sister. your grandma. see, no one ever really knows anyone. your husband of 10 years or the perfect little boyfriend could be a regular, and that’s the real beauty of it. everyone always thinks ‘oh no not MY little honey pie’ and then again about 99.9% of the clients of escorts are in serious relationships, and they will never get caught because this is the purest, most ultimate form of cheating. it’s hilarious and it’s perfect and i laugh in the face of everyone who’s as naive to think that it’s not a possibility.

what tvshows are you watching right now?? and which of them are your faves??

Anonymous

umm okay i’m only gonna list shows that are airing right now, the ones that i’m NOT behind on:

the walking dead, homeland, revenge, hart of dixie, 2 broke girls, mom, the blacklist, castle, brooklyn nine-nine, new girl, trophy wife, the mindy project, person of interest, awkward, arrow, back in the game, modern family, super fun night, the league, the big bang theory, parks and recreation, the millers, the crazy ones, the michael j fox show, scandal.

bolded ones are currently among my favorites. :)

where r u from?

Anonymous

finland. i have an about me page literally right there in front of your beady little eyes, use it.

i feel sorry for you you're going to hell

Anonymous

aww don’t, i’ve been preparing for that my whole life i mean i’m a finn so i’ve spent hundreds of hours in saunas in an excrutiating heat so i’m ready

i bet freddie is already so excited for his new bff to arrive some day

what do you think about girls/guys with ginger hair? are they bullied and made fun of where you live?

Anonymous

I don’t really think anything about something like the color of someone’s hair! That’s completely irrelevant to what kind of a person you are. I don’t remember anyone having been bullied or made fun of about having ginger hair during my time in school and to my knowledge that’s pretty unusual now as well. :)

do youu like wreckinball vid?

Anonymous

i actually do like it. the only thing i had a problem with was her wearing those boots while otherwise naked. no. just no.

also not a huge fan of the whole deep-throating-the-hammer -part. i’m kinda worried about her obvious oral fixation like she should talk to someone about that as soon as possible. very unsexy and just a teeny bit repulsive.

did you hear that miley cyrus and liam split? what do you think?

Anonymous

she’s got wonderful work ethic. business savvy mind or just a good team behind her. new single, unfollowing fiance on twittah, go public with the break up haha it’s no coincidence.

i think they broke up a while ago but she’s been calculating the right time to go public with it. some people find the possibility that the song is about liam as fascinating as her naked body in the video, so it’s for sure going to sell even more. 

i would’ve done the exact same thing. good for her.

You watch waaay to much tv.

Anonymous

do you think us should bomb syria?

Anonymous

I think if NOBODY does anything it will be exactly same as what happened in WW2 when the US and the other Allies refused to bomb the gas chambers and crematoriums of the Auschwitz camps even though the whole world had knowledge of what was going on in 1943. They knew hundreds of thousands of people had been inhumanely slaughtered, but they ignored it because the camps weren’t war bases and therefore not important enough. So they let hundreds of thousands more people to die before the Soviet army finally reached the camps in early 1945.

Obviously what’s going on in Syria is of a much smaller scale and it’s not about a genocide, but there are millions of desperate, helpless people there. They don’t deserve to just be abandoned there with this pathetic little man with a tiny dick and obvious mommy issues who’s probably Kim Jong Un’s idol right about now cause he’s lunatic enough to actually do something instead of just making sad little threats. And it sets a very bad example to just let him get away with it. 

There are a lot of invariables in this situation though, whether the US, or someone else, takes action or not. But I do think that something should be done. 

(And I don’t trust Putin one bit, he obviously has some sort of secret agenda. An evil one. His face says it all.)